Let's Stop Shaming Modern Mothers of the Bride

June 12, 2024
Let's Stop Shaming Modern Mothers of the Bride
Above: Christina and mother of the bride Susan. Photo by Wyeth Augustine

A mother of the bride who looks modern and gorgeous in a low-cut dress gets labeled "controversial." A mother of the groom who performs a choreographed, upbeat dance with her son at the wedding reception is accused of trying to “upstage the bride.” 

Let’s get a grip, Internet haters. 

It’s time to stop shaming moms for looking great and having fun. Instead, let’s celebrate the women who’ve raised confident daughters and sons who appreciate them, and just want their moms to feel their very best on a milestone day for the entire family.



Why is it the viral wedding moments involving moms seem to focus on a "debate" about whether mom was "stealing the spotlight." Maybe that mom exists, somewhere. But among the thousands of mothers of we've encountered at Mother Of, we've yet to meet her. We have met many, many modern women who don't feel "old" in their 50s and 60s—why would they???—and they sure don't want to dress "matronly" just because their son or daughter is getting married. We've also talked to their daughters, daughters-in-law and some sons, and the sentiments are almost always the same: love, respect, admiration, and a desire for Mom to look and feel her very best. 

As recent bride Christina told us: "I gave a whole thank you speech to my mom at the reception! I think it's so strange how moms are expected to fade into the background. My mom taught me all I know about being a good woman and a good wife, and I wouldn't have found a husband without her showing me the way." 

Quick tissue break! 

Let's be clear: even the hottest mom in the most tasteful-but-glamorous dress is not stealing the spotlight. The bride is the bride and when she comes down the aisle in her ethereal white, all eyes will be on her. Everyone is there for her. And no one is more excited or delighted than the MOM, who raised her, supported her, cheered her on and loved her endlessly—even through months of wedding planning. 

So let's just stop assuming the worst and stop jumping to conclusions. In the story picked up by Today, the bride is clearly delighted by her lovely mom, who looks spot-on fabulous. While we're at it, here are a few other silly shots at moms we'd like to banish from the Internet:

  • STOP saying moms shouldn't wear strapless dresses. Some of the most classic ballgowns are strapless and absolutely appropriate. 
  • STOP saying moms shouldn't show any leg. A slit can be tasteful and practical, making it easier to move without tripping. 
  • STOP saying moms shouldn't wear bright colors. What better way to differentiate from the bride in white? Provided it doesn't clash with the wedding or offend the marrying couple, go bold—this is a happy occasion!
  • STOP telling moms not to ham it up on the dance floor. Again, happy day! Rejoice! Celebrate! Entertain the crowd! If a mom wants to boogie down with her son or daughter, we say give them a beat, and enjoy the show.
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