The Mother and Groom Viral Dance Debate

March 23, 2024
The Mother and Groom Viral Dance Debate

Ever since we shared the viral video of mother of the groom Shannon and her son interrupting the usual slow dance by breaking into a high energy, choreographed routine to “Let’s Grove,” a debate has been playing out on the Mother Of instagram.


“Mom needs to stay in the background. It’s the bride and groom’s night to shine,” one woman commented.”

“Sorry, but this mom and son dance thing that everyone is doing is so off,” said another. “It should be a beautiful meaningful dance. Why is mom trying to steal the show from the bride?”

And on the other end of the spectrum: “Absolutely love this. What a special bond between mother and son and it shows.”

‘Love this! Way better than a traditional dance where the mother of the groom is crying as if she was losing something! This is way better, [a] jump for joy celebration.”

And that’s just a tiny sampling of the now 1,249 (!!!) comments (and counting) on this Jan. 1 post.

We took the debate to a couple of event planners for their expert opinion on the now-trending choreographed mother-son wedding dance moment: fun and joyful or bad taste?

“Choreographed dances are definitely trending,” says Gretchen Culver, owner and creative director of Rocket Science Events. “I think one of the reasons for this is that it is a fun, fresh way to approach a tradition. Another reason is social media. You can't get on Instagram or TikTok without seeing a choreographed routine from a couple, their wedding party, or their parents or even grandparents!”

So that’s a thumbs up for the mother-son surprise dance?

“I think it is wonderful that this mom and son got to share this experience together. What an incredible memory for them both!” Culver says.

Amy Zaroff of Amy Zaroff Events points out one of the hidden benefits of a choreographed dance: the time together spent rehearsing. “There is always a reason to make memories with your mom–especially for moms and their sons during the wedding planning process. Not every son will have the chance to plan every aspect of their wedding with their mom the way brides often do, and this is precious time together that makes for an irreplaceable memory.”

Fathers and brides have been doing this since long before TikTok, Culver says. “No one is saying that the dad is ‘hogging the spotlight.’ Why are we hating on moms for doing the same thing? Grooms often get overlooked in hetero weddings so I think it is especially nice to showcase this half of the wedding couple.”

Besides, says Culver, “Parent dances are BORING, no guest wants to watch them. So why not give them something they are actually going to enjoy watching?!”

If you are planning a special wedding dance number with your son or daughter, the key is practice. This is a performance; treat it that way for maximum impact. “Just don’t go overboard,” Zaroff says. “Don’t ask your son to do a Patrick Swayze-style run and jump. Leave Dancing with the Stars to ABC and just have fun with it. Show your personality and relish in the moment.”

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